“The Payne in the Blog” by Elizabeth Lynx

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Storm Warning

Wow! I was looking for another really fun/funny Romance, because I just want some more in my arsenal. I hit the mother load with Elizabeth Lynx. This book starts off with “I Love Lucy” like moments at Chapter One and just rolls into one “bit” after another. Morgana Drake talks to herself but then realizes she actually said that out loud. She face plants into … well crotches … actually one crotch belonging to her extremely hot boss. She is a little paranoid because she was accidentally in a Sex Tape that is on YouTube. It wouldn’t be a problem but every time someone mentions anything about an “incident” she automatically starts a defensive statement as the other person starts explaining the situation … then at the end the other person is kind of like “what?”. Luckily, it’s been shaken off, so far. But you get the picture, Morgana is a catastrophe time bomb, it’s hilarious!

I digress.

Morgana Drake is applying for the job of her life, the job she has be grooming herself for since college graduation. If she gets this job she will be working as the assistant for the VP of Sales and Marketing of the third largest online retailer, Mimir. Henrik Payne has the reputation of being … well a pain (Payne get it?). He’s interviewed at least 10 people for this position and has made one man run out of the room crying. This will not be an easy interview, but Morgana is confident in her resume, experience and her ability to read people. Unfortunately she has not mastered staying conscious when confronted with the most attractive, virile and sexy man she has ever seen sitting across the desk from her. Yet her desire for the job, trumps the desire in her panties, and she powers through the interview with renewed focus, answering his rapid fire questions. On the other hand, Henrik Payne seems less focused looking at his mobile phone, computer, taking calls, and apparently answering emails. Finally, Mr. Payne walks out of the room leaving Morgana waiting. Several minutes later, the woman who escorted her into Mr. Payne’s office, informs her that the interview has been completed and hands her an envelope. Morgana gets into the elevator extremely confused and as the elevator descends she reads the letter. Apparently she got the job, yet she isn’t really sure, so she returns to his office and finds Henrik back at his desk to ask him for some explanation about some parts of the letter. Mr. Payne is not used to having to explain himself but he will do so this once. Yes she has been hired. She is going to work for a week in the Mail Room because he expects those that work for him to know the company from the ground up, once he feels they know the business then they can assume their position outside of his office. Finally, he arrives at work at 8:30 a.m. and she should arrive at 8:15 a.m. because he would like his coffee to be waiting for him. He then commands her to go to HR to fill out her paperwork. While in HR she is reintroduced to the woman who escorted her to Mr. Payne’s office. Evaleen Bechmann, who will eventually become an important member of Morgana’s circle of friends along with Aria, her roommate.

As insulted as Morgana is to be in the Mailroom she does have fun in the department and learns a lot. Next she is sent to Accounting then Sales. As time goes on and because of a few interactions she has with Henrik Payne she finds herself drawn inexplicably and wildly and sexually to him. It’s during the ubiquitous Holiday Party rolls around that things get Wild and Crazy. First Mr. Payne approaches Morgana while she is working late and has missed the first few hours of the Holiday festivities, but he has apparently been celebrating enough for the both of them since he is “lit”. He asks Morgana to see him in his office and well things get all Penthouse – Mr. Payne – Henrik (cause he’s Nasty), it seems has been fantasizing about Morgana, not in an Administrative Assistant way. Um, in a “I collect women’s underwear, you eye glasses make me insane, and I’m going to take it downtown” kind of way. Morgana, for the most part is down with this (excuse the pun) except that there are various parts of her body that are in disagreement. Her Mind is saying, “NO!” Her “lady parts” are chanting, “That man is fine! Let’s go!” The Heart is doodling their names in a notebook. But then the Crazy happens. I’m going to quite cruelly skip over the most too spicy yet “I Love Lucy” parts of the scene – and trust me I am being extraordinarily, heinously cruel in omitting this – but she hears voices and in desparation she asks her brain what to do … because it’s is a cluster mess of epic proportions at that moment … and her brain’s response is, (and I quote) “All she says to me before I watch her speed off in the Ferrari, ‘You stupid bitch!’

Well messages become mixed and hopes are still hanging in there and … Oh did I mention that Morgana’s Grandmother is convinced/hopes/wants Morgana to be a lesbian??? Yeah, that’s right – it’s a thing – it’s GOLD!!!

Henrik Payne is one of the Alpha-ist of males ever. Gah! Super exquisitely handsome, laser-focused on business, and hypnotically, erotically, sensually SMEXY (SMUTTY + SEXY = SMEXY)!!! He has rules that he can’t seem to truly follow. He gives the impression that he is just as helpless to resist Morgana as she is to stand firm against his magnetism.

Since they work together, or rather he is her boss, and they can’t keep their hands off of each other, this does not bode well. Especially since there was an incident at the company, some nasty allegations …

There are so many “push/pulls”, landmines, and Payne-ful rules that are frustrating. There are girl friends popping up, jobs lost, new jobs, jobs lost, sex rules, and more moments of Aaargh!!! Do not underestimate what I am telling you … There are such intense frustration quotients, “Oh My God a Train Wreck!” instances , and “I Love Lucy” moments that I thought about putting my e-reader in the freezer so I wouldn’t have to look. I gasped, (for multiple reasons) and I slapped my hand over my mouth, (again for more than one reason). This book is tears of laughter funny, Oh Hell No frustrating, and Yes, Yes, Yes, Sexy.

This is a stand alone book nevertheless there is … not exactly a cliffhanger … but an open door …?

5 Lightning Bolts and a strong Storm Warning for “The Payne in the Blog”. This book is tons of fun and hot, hot, hot!

 

This book is from my personal bookshelf, which means, I shelled out cold hard cash for this book, so it is a honest review!

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